Changing Colors

Continuing the blog challenge :  I discovered that , yes, my resistance is still present. My inner critic’s very healthy voice yammering about content and quality of thinking. In the Dreamtime, I had an odd experience of seeing red square spiders speckled with black dots…they were everywhere in a golden hued log cabin…is there some meaning in them ? I have never seen a square spider, hmmmm. 

Now, I could take myself to my watercolors and sketch one out…but will I ?  What creative act is bubbling up for you today ?  Maybe a sketch ?  Maybe a sentence in your journal as you write a fresh article for you or others ?  What descriptive images  and phrases are dancing in your mind  ?

As a child I was introduced to Art thru my mother’s love of art.  My brother was adept at painting lovely still lifes , my grandmother’s watercolors were delicately crafted landscapes. Mine…wow….line drawings…only…abstract and indecipherable.  My mother’s youthful story wove her history with an Artist, I met him when I was 17, his work was stunning, how I longed to paint…but as I was told, like so many at the time, ” You will starve if you pursue this path”.   In my heart I knew I was an Artist yet I didn’t have a clear path for that discovery to learn the meaning of this inner knowing. I had taken college courses only to become even more discouraged as clearly I didn’t have the “it” factor & also it was expressed to me that art school would only teach me many things that would then need to unlearn.  Little did I know that I was a late bloomer !  

Evolving Woman 2011

Therefore, I learned the business of art; selling, hanging shows, marketing, archiving, record keeping, gallery management etc. ,  eventually I found myself in the accounting end of business (bread and butter ). Corporate bookkeeping and cashflow management became my economic earning strength. I adore working with spreadsheets and with the computerization of same,  all of that has something to do with a love of solving puzzles.   In my free time I delved into the ” Lands of Inquiry & Transformation” ….(another subject) !

Recently it occurred to me that I was separating my Left Brain accounting skills from my Right Brain creative skills. I also don’t speak or share very much about my obsession with Cash Flow Management,  Balance Sheets and Profit & Loss reports. Well, now I am weaving the two with great intention for creating a balance within myself. What that weave will look like in the end, I don’t really know…

Here is an Inquiry for you….what paradoxically seen/unseen imbalance (s) are you experiencing ? 

 

7 thoughts on “Changing Colors

  1. Beautifully told story. And here’s the best part – you’re still developing so the story isn’t over. Also, I LOVE your artwork. It ties into the post in such an engaging way. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you “can’t”. From what I can tell, you’ve got the gift. Use it!

  2. My desire to travel and be free/retired as vs my reality (having been a caregiver for a nearly 91 year old mother in law, who is now in skilled nursing and approaching the end of her life, while working full time.) I will never make a living from blogging or the photography I enjoy, but I really don’t care at this point in my life.

  3. to answer your last question – I think my desire to “have stuff” and my desire to travel unencumbered are paradoxically imbalanced…

    Wow – you gave me lots to consider. And it must be a joy to finally create as an Artist using all areas of your life and after years of those around you telling you that you can’t make a living as an Artist.

  4. Lovely tell of weaving the pathways, I tend to get lost in the creative and forget the balance sheets … Need to find my own harmony with those!

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